Volksforum.com

Go Back   Volksforum.com > International > Off Topic > General
User Name
Password
Home FAQ Register Members List Calendar Today's Posts





Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 25-08-2004, 12:23
ploon's Avatar
ploon ploon is offline
Forum junkie
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,633
Default The funny thing about kids .....

The funny thing about kids .....
For those with No children - this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age - this is hilarious.
For those who have children at this age - this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children - this is a form of birth control!


The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

"Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):"

1. A king size waterbed holds about enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jelly.

15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove.

18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amassing thing.

True story: One day the infant school teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy xxxxx! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.
__________________
Pim van Loon
1960 single cab (pickup) - www.ploon.nl
VW show dates & pics - www.vwshows.com
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 25-08-2004, 12:34
Pedaalemmer's Avatar
Pedaalemmer Pedaalemmer is offline
Volksforum Aandeelhouder - Pedalwanne
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 11,016
Send a message via MSN to Pedaalemmer
Default

wahahahahahha...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 25-08-2004, 13:29
Tjaap's Avatar
Tjaap Tjaap is offline
Volksforum Crew - You WILL comply!!
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 25,213
Default

"moved to offtopic international so more of us can enjoy it"
__________________
Welcome to the internet:
Where men are men, women are men, and little girls are FBI agents.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 25-08-2004, 16:27
PerL's Avatar
PerL PerL is offline
Volksforum Crew - Moderator International Forums
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,114
Send a message via MSN to PerL
Default

This is just fantastic!
__________________
If you have a 5 cylinder, you don't need a stereo.

1999 Audi A6 quattro
1990 Volkswagen Golf CL Syncro
1987 Audi Coupe quattro
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 25-08-2004, 16:29
Matheo's Avatar
Matheo Matheo is offline
Volksforum Draaideur Donateur
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,125
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sjampoo
25: true!

haha i didn't even see point 25, stopped reading at point 8 and went to the garage (do i still have that bottle of brake fluid??) :biggrin: :biggrin:
__________________
'06 A4 1.8T Quattro

'85 Transporter

'85 Golf
Reply With Quote
Reply



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump




All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:44.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All rights reserved, Volksforum